The Globe

In a pathetic attempt to slow its decent into irrelevance, the left-leaning Boston Globe has created an Onion-like April Fool's Day "front page" (actually a downloadable pdf of a front page) that depicts the Globe Editorial Board's fevered view of what a Donald Trump presidency would be like. I am no fan of Trump, but once again, the unfairness of this is epic. I mean, why not also do a mock front page that emphasizes the many, many foibles of Hillary Clinton or the outright extremism of Bernie Sanders? That would be fun. Trash Trump, sure, but also trash the Democrat menagerie.

Not. A. Chance.

So let me give it a try by citing just a few headlines that might be used in the Globe's mock front pages for Clinton and Sander.

Hillary Clinton's Front Page:

"National debt increasing at highest rate in history"
"Clinton Foundation donations quintuple in first three months of Hillary's presidency"
"Bill Clinton receives $2.5 million for 40 minute speech in Qatar"
"DoJ indicts Clinton aides for email server, but Hillary in the clear"
"Clinton appoints Elizabeth Warren as Secretary of State"
"TMZ publishes photos of Bill Clinton in bed with Starlet. Hillary claims Right-Wing Conspiracy"
"Clinton denies attempted blackmail by Chinese hackers"
   related: Hackers claim to have Clinton Foundation-related emails stolen from her server"
"Questions arise about U.S. Government contracts and White House influence"
"Clinton moves to silence Gold Star Mothers who continue to claim she lied to them about Benghazi's cause"
"Clinton claims Libya is 'in transition,' and labeling country a Failed State is 'partisan politics'

Bernie Sanders Front Page:

"National debt increasing at highest rate in history"
"Increasing 'violent extremist' attacks are 'Something we can live with,' states Sanders"
"Sanders nationalizes major banks; Claims better for 'economic justice'
"Sanders proposes 90 percent tax rate on the rich" 
   related: "Sanders pens executive action to stop flow of money out of U.S." 
"Sanders proposes limit on corporate profits"
"EPA forces closure of 40 percent of power generation facilities"
   related: "Rolling blackouts become common across the country"
"Sanders packs NLRB with Public Sector Union Officials"
"Sanders grants immediate citizenship for Undocumented Workers" 
"Executive action becomes Sanders' primary tool"
"Sanders visits Cuba, suggests that U.S. emulate country's 'Success'
Sanders visits Venezuela, suggests that US has much to learn from the 'Venezuelan people's struggle'
"Sanders cuts all aid to Israel, but doubles Palestinian aid"

Are my headlines any more unfair or absurd that the ones proposed by the Boston Globe editorial staff? I think not.