Swamp Creatures

The NFL franchise in Washington, DC is going to change its name. Overall, that's fine, one of the many, many meaningless gestures that social justice warriors think will effect "real change." I have no problem with the name change, but I do have a few questions.

First, the name itself. Cultural "justice" demands that it be changed, but to what? How about a nice alliterative name, say, "The Washington Warriors?" Nah ... that won't work ... it celebrates a warlike culture that reflects America's "evil racist past." Cancel that. Or maybe "The Washington Senators?"  Well, that was a MLB team once, but the Senate is "racist" because it is not diverse enough—too many while males. Cancel that. 

Okay, I think I have one. How about "The Washington Swamp Creatures?" The name is inclusive, it doesn't denigrate any ethnic or racial group ... it's perfect.

But wait! There's a problem with the location—Washington. Named after a slave owner. We can't have that, can we? In fact, maybe the team should move to, say, Columbus, OH. Oops, can't have that either, after all, Christopher Columbus was a genocidal monster. Cancel that. How about Jackson, MS? You gotta be kidding, Cancel that. Maybe Oklahoma City? No ... cancel that. How about someplace in Indiana, Like Indianapolis? No, wait, there are SJWs who are demanding that Indiana change its name. That's another NFL team's problem anyway. Cancel that.

Okay, let's table the name and the location. but since we're focused on an NFL franchise, maybe we should consider other aspects of the the team's structure. 

SJWs keep telling us that a meritocracy is inherently "racist." They emphasize the importance of proportional racial representation in all fields of endeavor. For example, some SJWs argue that STEM is racist because people of color are under-represented when population percentages are considered. Given that, its obvious that an over-representation of one race is a bad thing, right? 

But the NFL franchise in Washington has an over-representation of people of color. Is that a bad thing? I'll have to ask a SJW why STEM and the NFL must abide by different rules with regard to racial representation. I'm sure there's a good reason.

But ... the name, "Swamp Creatures," really does have a nice ring to it. Let's try really hard to make it work.

UPDATE:

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James Lileks is merciless when he comments on the SJW's favorite weapon—cancel culture:

Today’s revolutionaries aren’t very good students of history, to say the least. They are full of zeal, have the requisite urge to destroy, the obligatory faith in their ability to remake humankind, the belief that widespread property destruction is good PR, and so on. What they lack is pacing.

You want to say: Slow down, young’uns! First you seize power and send all your class enemies to the camps or the grave. Then you turn on your own to purge the ideologically wobbly or those who are insufficiently zealous.

But these idiots are eating their own before they have power. Harry Potter author J. K. Rowling? Off to the gulag for believing in biological sex. The New York Times editorial-page editor earned defenestration for believing in free speech. Day after day on Twitter there’s a frenzy of witch-burning and heretic-stoning; the entire platform is like a self-lubricating guillotine.

Then again, it might be seen as a new, efficient model. After you’ve overthrown the tyrants and set up the People’s Committee, you have a new world to build. Even if you devote the morning to inventing a postcapitalist paradigm and spend the afternoon figuring out how to get fresh water and sanitation to your typhus-infested camp, that means you have to spend the evening drawing up proscription lists. Purging is necessary, but who has the time?

So they’re getting it out of the way now, purging the culture and the Twitter lists of people and things that need to be extirpated for the good of all.

Given all of that, the name of an NFL franchise is small potatoes.